MABLE YOU SUCK!
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: 'weirdmageddon escape from reality' AU! What's this? Fe FI Foo LUDINI! I smell the blood of a Karma Houdini! Not on my watch! In any case, Mable's legal team had to be replaced...she's not thrilled by the results...


**Mable you suck!**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Deep within Weirdmagedon, inside the guilded cage that was Mable-land...two siblings bickered in a court-

"Hey, I didn't write the laws of Mableland." Said Mable with a shrug.

"Yes you did! There is LITERALLY a tapestry above us with you writing the laws!" Exclaimed her brother Dipper.

Now in many universes, despite the glum outlook. This would've inevitably led to a heartwarming 'family is everything' moment, and Mable would've gotten away scott free with ruining everything and being rewarded for causing the apocalypse handsomely...

**BOOM!**

This is not that universe

**"̶̡͖̺̪͔̙̒͐̾́̎͒͜͜ͅH̵̟̔͗̇̃͛̈́͑̈́͝͠ḙ̸̡̥̰̤̞̬̘̞̤̳̼̇͐̏y̸̜̓̑͆̂̃̆,̴̢̭̒̀̈́̈̈́ ̷̛̖̗̼̺̖̹̣̫̃̂̾̌̊͌̇̔͒ẘ̶̢̱͚͉̫̲͇̍̃͊̈́́͜h̷͓͚̣͉̻̯̭͎̪̾̅̐̿̃͐͋͂̑͝ͅa̷̯͎̞̲͆͋̀̓͘t̷̛̞̺̩͙̩͂̍̄́̈̌́̂̌͋̅̄͌ ̸͎͍͉̰̺͉̣̲͎̭̞̗̉̑̂̑̇̍͋͑͘͜ư̶̺̙̠̂̌̓̑͂͛̈́̎̚p̸̡͈̤̺͈̳͇̯͖̗͋͋̏̽͋́͛̀̊͂̾͆̏͝ͅ ̴̨̦̻͆́͗̉̌̎̍͑͌͜p̸̣̺̲͙̳̩̙͉̔̽́e̴̡͍̫̿̉͐̈́̕ḙ̴̡̖̖̘͊̉̓͗̐̾́̉͐̚͠p̸͈̞̞͊̑̔͊͊̑̒̇͑͊̾̓̌̚͝ş̵͎̫͈̇́͒͐͘͝͠!̴̛͎͔͕͙͎̺͚̗̏̃̾͆͠͝͝?̶̡͇̮͚̳͇̻̖̦̟́͂̋̊̾̂͂̚͝͠"̷̛̲͖̪̯͈̪̐́̿̽͐̅ **Shouts a strange creature that just broke down the courthouse doors. He was a long slender creature, with long arms, no face...and a snappy business suite?

All the Mable-land creatures took one look at him-

"IT'S SLENDERMAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Soon everyone(except Dipper, Mable and their friends) were running through the glass windows just to get away. Even the judge buried himself in his kitty litter to escape...

"Uh...what?" Asked Wendy confused over what just happened- she wasn't the only one.

"Huh, a new, unknown player has entered this story...of our lives...wonder how this will change the outcome... of the trial." Mused Soos while eating waffles, while Wendy just looks at him weird.

**"̴̛͍̝̭̙͉̬̤͔̓̈́͒̃͂̅́́̿S̶̮̬͚͎̱̤͖͓̥̘̊̔͆̿̌̅̇è̸͚͉̊̀̒͊̅̈̒̅͒̏͘̕r̵̭̞̭̘̪̄͗̐̀̌͠ͅi̵̢̡̩͚̼͖̪̖̟̰̲̩̤̠͈͐̀̕ō̴̧͕̟̣͔̪̞̜̯͖̓̉̿̊͐͑̃͗̒͘̕͝u̸̞̬̖̣̦̦̻̠̬͒̈͗̎̂͒̃̄̔̏̈́͝͝s̷̺̣̩̘̱̙̋̇̅͜͝l̴̻̟͍̤̩̭̰̪̮͉̘̻͇̽̏͆̈͜͜y̸̛̫̫͈̥͕͂͐́̓͛͆̀̑̈͛̈́͌͘͠,̸̩̼͚̆̾̔̄̚͝ ̶̧͉͈͇̞͕̠̟̦̞̬͙̞̰͈̊̇̅̃͑̈́̃͂̂̾̇h̷̢͕̞̫͖̟͓̣̳̠̉̀́̊͜o̶͓̜̪̺̐͜w̴̖̝͔̗̬̘̆̔̑̂̈͐̈́̀̅͠'̶̬̖̬̩̳̯̥̼̲̱̋́̍͑̈́͗̽͜͜͝ͅs̴̹̜͈̘͂̐̅̉̒̀ ̶̧̯̩̜̟̜̯̦͉̗̘̻̗͓̞̏̇̀̚i̵͕͚̖̓͋̄̂͐̓͛͐͊͑͒̇͝͝͠ṫ̴̲̙̮͈̟̯̤͉̺͈͎̥͆̎͒̏̾̓͜͝͝ ̷̡̖͚̩͙̬͔̹̀̂̍͗̇̑͂̏g̸̢͚͖̙̗̥̥̳̝͆̆̇̉̃̏̔̊͑̊̚̚͝ǫ̷̛͎̠̠͉͙͉̜̞̜͉́̌͆͛͌͌͂̕͜͠į̷̻̣̮͖̙͈͓͊̄͗̃̄͑͂̈́͛̇͋̾̚̚͠ņ̷̥̮̝̪̯̲͙̘̘̼͓̥̆g̸̡̣̪̊̐̐̀͗̽͊͗͊?̷̰̭͚̭̾̅̈́͊̓̾̀̑͊͐̈́͠͝ ̵̡̛̱͉̥̞͚͚͕͕̱̏̇͒̓͠Ḯ̴̢̢̨̢̬̩̱̗̼̬̟͉͕̟͂͘͜ ̴̛̙͋͊̈́̿̑̄̄̇̈͌̂̚h̶̝̄̒̉̊̀͆͋̈̓̓͆̿̕̚͝o̶͎̘̗̽p̷̻̂̏͑͑͋͐̾̆̅̕̚͝ḛ̴̢̨̭̥͚͙̭̗̮̱̲̕ ̴̨̧̨̝̞̰̲͍̣̓͒Ï̷̻̣̥͚̤͙͉͔̠̺͖̂̈́̊̋͊͜'̶̡͎͍͓̊̌͒̕m̷̡̖̬̠̬͗͆̊̅́̀͊̏͛̾̇͋̚ ̶̳̽͐ņ̸̡̧̛̯̬̫̦͉͈́͂͑̈́̀̽̅́̐̀́͋̚͝ő̷̡̨̧͎̘̠͈͈̬̤͇̪̦̖t̶̻̅̀̀͊̄̿̌͌͊̎̔ ̶̤̠͍̒̉́̍͒̽̑͝l̶̨̺̪͕̲̙̫͚̬͔͍̖͎̜̜̈́̾͐͊̽̋̅͐͛̂̀̒̂͘͝a̵͕͋̕͝ẗ̵̢̛͎̺̺̙̗͍͙̘́̇̆͋̾̓e̸̼̣̱̻̹͐̎́͒̂̈͗̏͐́͂́͝͝!̴͓̝̭͕͙͈͈̻̓"̴̧̤̠̙̮̞͛͆̀͌͑̊̎**

The four remaining people in the whole building simply looked at the strange creature...not understanding a word he'd said.

**"̸̨̡͍̮͇͇̻̹̬́̒͌̃͘͜W̵̤̫̱̻͚͔̬̣̠̓̓h̴̳͔̣̣̳͕͚̙̬͙̳͍͉̺̭̊̓̀͌͗y̵̡͔̩̏͒̈̄̅̏͑̾̽̚ ̴̨̞͕̬̖̞̝̖̹̽́̿̑̔̈́͗̿̈́̕̕̚a̴̺̜̠͇͆̽̂̒̿͂̀̎͘͝ŕ̶̯̰̩̠̞͎̥̒͗̀͆̐̊e̶̡̡̱̹͍͚̯̩̪̜̼̤͖̓͜ͅ ̵̮̙͖͔̘̮̘͇̪̙̉͗̊̄̈͛̑̈́̊̈́͒͜ͅy̵͙̙͓̘͑́̏͛̈̄̒͊̄̏͆͠ó̸͊͜u̸͚̪̙̯̯̓͜͜-̵̨͚̻̘̝̭̖̱͓̬͗̒̽̍̑̂̀̓ ̴̧̖̰̫͕͋͌̓͒͋͠O̶͙͔͓̻̯̖̊̈́̍̄̋͠h̶̘̄̌̈͋̒̄̕͘͘͠,̸̢̞̺̲̣́̆̏̄́̌́̊̄͘͝͝ ̵̧̛̯̤̲̮̜͖̦̮͍̻͊͊̄͗̍͊̂̆͐̋́̕̚͝ͅͅÌ̵̖̝̼̭̰̪͔͆͗͐͌̌͌́͠͝͝ ̶̢͙̻̗͚̗̂͝͝š̷͇̔́̎͗͆̒͠e̷̜̗̣̓̈́e̷̛̙͖̙̳̲̰̼̼͎͉̠̗̳̍̏̀̓͌͂͐͛͒̕̕̚͝.̶͔̂̆̐͐̈̓ ̷̡̠̯̝̞̱͙̱̭̉̈̍͜M̴̥̟̗̥̠̺̭͇͛̀̅̂̎̓̚ý̴̩͔͖̤͎͚̞̾ ̴̨̡̧̖̠̰̳̬̟͇̟̞̯̎̔̍̍̿̒͌̀̀̔͐̚͠g̵̢̨͍̱̬̎͑̀̓̐̆̎͝͝l̴̡͚̞̈̎̓̾́̀͌̿̾͌̊̔̓͠i̸̡̢̫̗̼͉̱̺̥̘͖̫̦̼͇̐̇̄̈́̓̑̔̀͒̈́͝͝͠t̴̢̡̜̤̬̤̰̺͌͊͑̉͠ĉ̵̨̨̘̹̮͈͉͖͉̳h̶̩͕̥̐̽̍̅̂̇͋̾̊̽́̃̃͘-̷̗̺́̊͗́́̔̓̅̀͊s̴̨̹̼͔̺̗͖̆̃͛͆̚͜͝p̷̲͎̖͚̣͓̤̮̮͒͜ͅễ̴̝͕̮̞͎̼̻͕̬̱͙̹̀̉́̋́̾͐͊̕ͅâ̸̗̞̺̗̝k̸̢̥̬͓͚̞͕͖̦̙̝̥͉̏͌̈́ ̷̡̧̛̻̺̪͔̯̩͕̣̯̤̾͒̽͊̀̿̅̍̏̇́͘͝͝ì̸͓̭̀̆̅̒̄̕ș̵̡̡̢̨͓̬͖̻͚͓̳̪͖̽̄̋̔ ̵̰́̌̊̏̀̀̔͝͠o̴̗̦̦̒̅̒̀̊͐̽̒̄͊̎̉͘͝͠n̷̟̻̳͍̬͈̪̳͌̊̈́̒̏͊̚͝͝.̸̫̞͗́͗̅͌͑͗̀̇͆̄́̕͠ ̶̨͇̬̹̼͉͋̑̓W̷̨͔͖͛̍͆̽̆̅̔̌é̴͓̘͌ͅḽ̶̨̢̳͚̲̫̣̫̣͙̭̣̙̜̈̿͌̑̔̚̚͘͝l̶̡̡̛̳̱̟̰̼̬̤͚̞̙̀͑͊̍́͋͌͌̇͐͒̚͝͠,̵̧̢̻̻͎̉̿͂͑̄̀̅̕͝͝ ̵̘̙̘̦̬̉͑́̊̓̏͑͐̌̚͠t̶͉̜̪̙̅̿̈́̆̌̊͒̀͐̿̕̕ḩ̵̡̩̗͍̘̈́̇̄͂̈́͐͊̒͘͝ā̷̢̳̯̟͈̱̥ṫ̸̡̨̢̨̢͕̲̘͔̣͎͎͐̌̏͝͝'̴̢̘͕͖̟͖̰̺̩̟̣͂͒̒̓̏̍͘͜͝͠s̸͇͉̻̦̲̝͙͙̺͒̐́̒̋͐̂̓͛͜͠ ̴̧̛̛̘̅̆͑̽͗̂̌̓͐͛̚̕͝ą̸͈͑̍̂̅̍͝ņ̶̢̰͇̦̺̣̱͍͈͇̣̦̳͔̊̀̎͑̋̊̕͝ń̴̨̨̢̡͕̮̲͎͙̠̍ͅͅǫ̴̨̨̨̯̲̳̠͈̈̈́̐͌̃̓̈́̅̾̚͝͝y̴̡̖̙̘̫̠̪̼̏̂͑̓͋ͅỉ̷̧̢̨̤͓̮̗͔̩͖͈͐͊͛̈̉̃͜n̶̢̘͍̳̙̽̚g̵̨͖̫̜̮͔̙̣͕̱̲̎̆͒̒́̔̚ͅͅ.̴̧̢̧̨̛̛̺͍̯͍̘̰̥̖͎́͆̅́̈́̈́̽͜͜͠ ̵̧̨̣̫̺̦͈̩́̀̅͘Ś̶̝̱̑͑̓̆͑ỏ̵̝͉̘̈́͋̿̏̇͗̐͌̇̓͗̕͠͝r̴̖̂̀̌r̴̢̡̢̢̖̪̞͍̙̆̈ͅý̸̧͇̠͍͓͖͍͈̝̯͉̮ͅ,̴̗̳̓̐̃̄̉̇͂̅̉̀̊͑͠ ̶̨̟̩̻̱̯̫̭̱͕̯̭̙̮͚̔̉o̸̡̫̺͌̀̂ͅn̶̨̬͔̬̟̲̣̈͑̿̂̒̈́̈̿̀̂̕̚̚͝e̷̬̥̰̞͈̰̳̱̼̪̙̬̙͛̀͛͐̓͌̾̔̍̓͛͆̾͛̕͜ ̶̦̙̩̯̗͖̼̦̳͔̜̞̘̈́͐̂̀s̴̛̻̜̭̪̱͈̼̬̦̹̀́̉̍͆͑e̸̦̙̰͑c̴̪̰͓̘̳̼̠̐̂͆͑̿̆̈͆̏̀̋̊͜-̵̭̮̟͓̳̣̝̤͎̠̫̩͖̏͂̆͑̀̏̑͌̑̐̀̆̍́͠"̵̡̥̥̠̟̗͉̠̗̀̂̔̽͌͋̀̚̕͠͝**

**click**

**"There, can you hear me now?"**

Not knowing what else to do, they nod. **"Right, I'm Mable's prosecutor. In accordance to Mableland law: My job is to protect your right to live in this bubble."**

"Wait, what? Where's Xyler and Craz?" Asked Mable confused.

**"Oh, they couldn't make it. Something about being 'under the weather'?" **He stated innocently while (somehow) smirking.

...

Meanwhile, not to far away the two sparkly dream-hunks were frantically trying -and failing- to keep from drowning as the cinderblocks dragged them to the depths of the Gravity Falls lake...

...

...with not much choice, the twins reluctantly continued the trial, Slenderman- bored -more or less made the same arguments that 'wingus' and 'dingus' made in cannon, he tuned that out to mostly focus on making an invisible copy of himself and sending it into the past whenever he brought up one of the twins painful past memory.

...Many years ago...

He entered the memory of Mable running off crying as she got gum in her hair...which was then where Dipper got the razor with the idea to shave his head to make Mable feel better...

**"Aw...isn't that sweet, what a lovely memory...Okay, enough of that, time for a retcon!"**

He appears before a younger Dipper, startling him.

**"You need not worry about your sister." **Said Slenderman as he waved his hand over Dipper's face.

Dipper's eye's glaze over, "I need not worry about my sister." He repeated in a monotone voice.

**"She will be fine on her own."**

"She will be fine on her own."

**"You will go back to take your picture without her and not bother her for the rest of the day."**

"I will go back to take my picture without her and not bother her for the rest of the day."

**"You will not bring this up, or talk about this again with her if you can avoid it."**

"I will not bring this up or talk about it with Mable at all if it can be avoided."

**"Good. Now give me that razor and leave here with no memory of me."**

Dipper just nods, hands him the razor, and walks away back to the picture day assembly.

Slenderman smirked as he levitated the razor on the end of his finger. **"Ah, my dear Dipper. You put so much heart into this...what a shame the person you gave it to doesn't deserve it."**

The razor explodes and from that explosion, temporal ripples begin to surge forth from the past and effect the present...

...present...

Slenderman frowned as his copy merged with him, he could see that the 'bond' between the twins had weakened...but still not quite enough...

As he continued his 'defense' of Mable, he brought up the memory of Valentines day...while also sending another clone into the past...

...

A young Mable walked down the hallway to give her brother a much needed Valentine-

**"You need not worry about your Brother." **Said Slenderman as he waved his hand over Mable's face while also snatching said valentine away.

Mable's eye's glaze over, "I need not worry about my brother." She repeated in a monotone voice.

**"He will be fine on his own."**

"He will be fine on his own."

**"You will go back to class without him and not bother him for the rest of the day."**

"I will go back to class without him and not bother him for the rest of the day."

**"You will not bring this up, or talk about this again with him if you can avoid it."**

"I will not bring this up or talk about it with Dipper at all if it can be avoided."

**"...I'm going to hit myself in the face with this frying pan."**

"I'm going to- **WHACK!** OW!"

Mable whimperd as she obediently went back to class without fuss while nursing the bruise she now had on her face...while Slenderman laughed...

Recomposing himself, **"Heh, comedy gold...but seriously though. You want Dipper to return to this?" **Asked Slenderman to the readers as he gestures to a sobbing Dipper, **"Going back to being friendless except his sister- A sister who clearly can't be trusted not to put her own interests ahead of his! And don't say that won't happen! She did it once without consequence, she can do it again- And don't use "Gravity** **Falls**** \- lost legends'****(holds up the comic book) as a proof to the contrary! Not only did that prove that she remembered making the deal to Bill and LIED to Dipper, but she 'learned' the same lesson she learned in 'Sock Opera'...which she then forgot by next episode! So do forgive me if I don't think it'll stick!"**

Slenderman took a deep breath, "**Call me crazy but I'd think Dipper would be happy being around his first true friends he made in Gravity Falls who DIDN'T want to freeze time, ruin his dream just keep him with her..."**

He hold up Mable's Valentine to Dipper...and quickly burns it, **"Nope, some relationships are just toxic...and need to die." **Says the eldritch abomination as temporal ripples come from the destroyed cherished possession...

...present...

Slenderman, rolls his eyes as as Dipper makes his 'case'...but smirks as his 'retcons' have done their job, their bonds were weaker, Dipper argument wasn't as sound with no examples to fall back on. So instead of Mable immediately embracing him for a 'sincere' sibling hug as had happened in the 'prime' Timeline...she simply stood their conflicted...

Knowing he only had a brief window before Dipper recovered from this unexpected 'fumble', Slenderman struck.

He clapped sarcastically as he stepped forward, **"Amusing, my boy. Very amusing."**

Dipper just looked at him baffled, "What?"

**"First of all...'wanting Ford's apprenticeship is living in a fantasy'? I mean...what? Just...what? My dear boy, how is that a fantasy? Living your dream of exploring supernatural wonders, working alongside an authority figure you admire and respect, surrounded by friends who love and support you? That's not a fantasy, that's a dream job!"**

Dipper looked conflicted, "Well Maybe...but...

**-And 'spending all your time in a lab'? You love doing that! But more importantly, you do realize Ford spends a large amount of his time out in the enchanted forest doing research, right? Not to mention he seems to be interested in some globe-trotting! Seriously, where did you pull that little diddy, the 'half-assed excuses to wrap up a story' store?"**

Dipper looked at him annoyed, "Hey, come on now-

**"Alright, mean and logical comments aside. I must admit you have some good points about you that are to be admired."**

Dipper looked at him surprised, "Really? Like what?" He asked curiously.

Slenderman (somehow) smirked, **"Why, How forgiving you are for one thing!"**

He gestured to Wendy and Soos, **"Why, you have the patience of a saint for wanting to still be friends with these two after they abandoned you and left their loved one's to die-**

"Wait, what?!" They both shouted indignantly.

Slenderman pointed to Wendy, **"You SAW your friends get turned to stone, your dad and brother are missing in the apocalypse...and your sticking a plunger to a made-up principal's head-**

He then points to Soos. **-And you'd rather play make-believe with a dad who abandoned you then save your loving Abuilita- who is still a COUCH -and the man who's ACTUALLY been like a father to you!"**

Both of them looked at him in horror...

"Wow...he's right...what the blood were we thinking?" Asked Wendy disgusted with herself.

Slenderman shrugged, **"Oh, don't feel too bad about it. This was just a very stupid episode...of your life. I rather think 'the powers that be' were too lazy to think of a better reason to get you two to leave and focus this tale on-** Points backwards to an increasingly confused Mable and Dipper ** -these two yahoo's."**

The eldritch abomination (somehow) frowns, **"Drat, I lost where I was."**

**(PAUSE)**

After pausing time he recollects himself as he looks through his notes; **"Okay...switch off glitch-speak, tamper with the past, make Mable hit herself, dream job, plunger on head- Ah, got it! Right, back on track** **now." ** He quickly dose some vocal exercises to get back to 100%.** "Do, Rei, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do! ****Do, Rei, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do! Right, good now." **He snaps his fingers to get time moving again-

**(UNPAUSE)**

He turns to Dipper, **"But in any case, the true sign of your paragonism is how easily you forgave your sister-**

"Forgave?" Asked Dipper suddenly very confused while Mable goes very pale.

Slenderman ignored this and continued on, **-your a better person then me Dipper, I'll give you that much. If I had a sibling that did THIS- **snaps his fingers to bring up a film projector and screen **-I don't think I'd EVER forgive her." **He sends a smug leer at a now very nervous Mable.

The film projector show a sobbing Mable running into the woods after the confrontation with Dipper-

"Uh, this isn't necessary! We can handle the trial ourselves! Your fired as my legal counsel!" Shouts Mable as she claps her hands to banish him and the projector away...which it didn't...

"What? But I'm queen here-

**"Terribly sorry your 'majesty' but your power comes from Bill and I outrank Bill-**

"WHAT!?" Shouted Mable, Wendy and Soos. Dipper...Dipper said nothing...he was too busy watching...watching Mable give the rift to 'Blendin'...

**At last! At long, long last! The gateway between worlds has opened! The event _one billion years prophesized_ has finally come to pass! The day has come! _The world is finally mine!_**

Shouted Bill revealing himself...

There was a long silence...

Mable, frantic. "DIPPER! Please, I was tricked! Bill tricked me! Like he tricked yo-

**"OBJECTION! Technically, YES Bill did trick him and the deal- a DEAL need I remind you that he was forced to take because you wouldn't keep a PROMISE you made to him - worked out poorly for him. But that only caused problems for HIM! He didn't intentionally frak over ANYONE else to get his way when making the deal- give or take one measly puppet you could easily do without! But let's suppose hypothetically that it WASN'T Bill, that Blendin was Blendin and the deal was legit. YOU were willing to condemn EVERYONE; Man, Woman and Child to an endless, timeless purgatory without their consent or permission! Simply to satisfy YOUR needs! Because YOU didn't want to grow up! Not to mention you trusted the safety of everyone in Blendin's hand's for crying out blood-**

"HEY!" Shouts Blendin from a nearby, random time portal that briefly opens up-

**"Shut up Blendin! I know what you did to the Mississippi purchase!"**

Now sobbing, Mable once more tried to defend her actions- "I- I was having a very bad day-

**"OBJECTION! Oh, what? That makes all the pain and suffering okay then? That totally justifies dooming everything!?"**

"Uh...yes?" She asked weakly.

**"...My dear, if a nuclear safety inspector missed a flaw that caused a meltdown that killed THOUSANDS because he was too upset to focus after having a 'bad day'...would you let him off the hook?"**

"Uh..."

**"Oh, I'm sorry. Too big to comprehend? Let's do a smaller example then, if a chief SPAT in the soup- Maybe it's your soup, maybe it isn't. for the sake of sportmanship let's say You have about as much chance of not getting the spit as everyone else in the restaurant -because he was he was having a 'bad day'...would you NOT demand he be fired?"**

Mable was reeling, it was one uppercut after another! "But...but...I didn't even know what that thing was! Dipper never told me anything about the rift!" She pleaded.

**"OBJECTION!...Okay, actually that's a good point. Dipper SHOULD have told you about that- But that doesn't change the facts I made in my first two objection! Namely: Accidental doomsday or not, YOU WERE WILLING TO FRAK OVER EVERYONE TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY! YOU SELFISH CUNT!"**

Mable gaped at him horrified, "I- I thought you were my lawyer!"

**"No, I said I'm your PROSECUTOR. Big difference, really need to learn to listen."**

He turns to her; **"And as your Prosecutor it's my job to protect Mableland law; which centers around keeping you inside the bubble no matter what- Don't look at me like that! You wrote that law yourself! Not my fault your attitude toward the bubble has changed since it's inception."**

"Well I'm changing the laws right now!"

**"OBJECTION! You made it illegal for yourself to do that during a trial! ...you also made it illegal for cats to wear purple on Thursday...and for fish to wear bow ties with peanut butter?"**

Mable groaned and face-palmed, "Why do I keep writing things under the influence of Smiley-Dip!?"

But Slenderman had already forgotten her and moved on to Dipper, **"Look my boy- let me be clear; this isn't a message saying you CAN'T trust anyone- **he nods to an equally lost looking Wendy and Soos** -but some people...for their own good as well as your own...just need to be cut from your life. And if willing to destroy the world and your dream life to keep you from leaving them isn't a red-flag for a Co-dependent/Enabler relationship relationship...I honestly don't know what is..."**

Dipper, simply looked lost, "I...I don't-

Slenderman held his hands in a placating, sympathetic way. **"Okay, okay. I get it, lot of things happening here. A lot to process. It's all crazy complicated...so why don't I make things a bit more simple, hmm?"**

With a snap of his finger, a very familiar device floated before the pine tree hat boy-

"The Quantum Destabilizer!" Shouts Dipper in disbelief.

**"_Quantum Destabilizer 2.0 _to be exact! Indestructible AND more then enough to kill Bill and save the world! And I'll gladly give it to you for the low, low price of a 'promise'- **Makes his right hand burst into flames and holds it in a handshake fashion toward Dipper **-of cutting your sister out of your life and NEVER seeing her again."  
**

Mable waited...waited for Dipper to say no, to forgive and love her again like he always did...she waited...and waited...

Dipper...just glared at him, "Why should I trust you to keep your word? You say you outrank Bill, how do I know your also not WORSE then Bill? Or that you don't have a sinister motive behind all this?"

**"Oh, did I not explain that? Silly me: to answer your questions: I AM worse then Bill, And I DO have a sinister Motive behind all this: I hate your sister and want her to suffer and the best way to do that is to cut you out of her life- I'll even slap in a promise not to PHYSICALLY harm her to sweeten the deal! As for why you should trust me to keep my word... well breaking my word would only be incentive for you to get back with Mable which would be rather counter-productive for my goals, wouldn't it?"**

Dipper was stunned by the rather blunt honesty...

"Wait, why do you hate Mable?" Asked Soos shocked.

"And you'd really sell out Bill?" Asked an even more stunned Wendy.

**"Again, to answer your questions: She and what she's doing to Dipper reminds me of someone I hate but must forgive due to the wishes of someone I love who is also no longer with us...(awkward silence...followed by an awkward cough)... Annnnyway, Mable is under no such protection. As for Bill? So great is for my hatred for Mable...if I have to sacrifice one of my favorite drinking buddies to see her cry then so be it!"**

Again, the silence was deafening...no one knew what to say...what could they say to such an admission?

**"Also, he is but one of an infinite amount of bills in the omni-verse. I'll make it up to him later, by allowing another version of him unrestricted access to an alternate Gravity Falls."**

"WHAT!?"

**"I said ALTERNATE Gravity Falls! You'll be safe! Keep your shorts on!"**

"...Still disturbing."

**"It's the best deal your gonna get, deal with it!"**

Dipper just frowns at this... "Mable would be unharmed?" He said finally.

Mable gasped, it couldn't be! Shirley Dipper isn't considering...

Slenderman nodded assuring he'd put her in a safe place, but Dipper still looked unsure...absentmindedly...he pulled out Mable's scrap book he took from the Shack before joining Ford in the town...so many precious, wonderful memories...and yet...Dipper eye's go once again to the film projector showing an endless repeat of Mable giving Bill the rift and bringing about Weirdmagedon...everyone was in danger...and he needed to save them...but Mable...was their relationship really toxic? Would it be better if they went their separate ways?

**"Aw, I get my boy. Your first adult decision. It can't be all 'free liquor and no bedtimes', sacrifices need to be made... But unlike Mable, I KNOW you can do it! in fact..."**

**(music starts)**

"Oh, frak. Are we in a musical?" Asked Wendy annoyed.

"I hope so!" Said Soos cheerfully.

Slenderman walked around Dipper...

**It's time you learned a lesson!**  
**It's time that you understand**  
**Don't ever count on someone like HER-**

"HEY!" Shouts Mable before he zipped her lip with the snap of a finger.

**-In this or any other land.**

Slenderman gives him a sympathetic hand on the shoulder.

**I know you've always hoped for friendship with her**  
**And saw her as someone who would be kind**

But he then waves a hand dismissively at the Mable on the projector.

**But soon you'll those were the childish wishes**  
**Of someone who was blind**

He quickly teleports in front of them and spreads out his arms-

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

He shouts at the same time as the explosions.

**See the world from where I stand**

Bubbles filled with images of everyone- past, present and future -who was suffering thanks to Bill..thanks to MABLE...float around the room...

**YOU among the mighty**

The bubbles now show images of a slightly older Dipper graduating from college at an early age, exploring under his mentor ford, having fun with his friends in Gravity Falls, being respected and loved by many, making out with numerous girls(Wendy has to hide her blush at that last bit)...it went on...

**If You simply cage HER at my command**

And now the images are replaced with everytime Mable mocked him, refused to believe him, refused to take him seriously, and overall put her needs above his...

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Que the explosions once more and the bubbles, ALL the bubbles.

**Do what your sister couldn't and Give up your sweet fantasyland!**

He appears before Dipper and lightly 'bop's' him on the nose.

**It's time to grow up and get wise!**

**Come now, not-so-little one**

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

He snaps his fingers causing a dramatic fireplace to appear and the film projector to change to something different...

**We all start out the same-**

Dipper watches how the trial would've gone without Slenderman's interference...

**-With simple naïve trust-**

...How he and Mable would escape the bubble, rally the town, defeat Bill...

**-Shielded from the many ways-**

...Watch as he and Mable leave Gravity falls together...

**-That life's not fair or just-**

...spend their life together...

**-But then there comes a moment-**

...never...ever...leaving..her side...or doing anything...

**-A simple truth that you must face-**

Dipper...never dose anything with his life!

**-If you enable others-**

He just stays with Mable, keeping her safe and happy!

**-You'll never find your place...**

**(music continues...)**

Dipper watches spellbound as the events of his future unfold...

_A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._

_A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._

"_Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_

"_Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._

"_Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._

_Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._

"_I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_

**_CRASH!_**

_The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_

_The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._

_Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._

_Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._

"_Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._

_Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._

Dipper is stunned by what he just saw...

Slenderman appears before Dipper to offer two hands toward him...

One ablaze and ready to make a deal...

The other has Mable's scrap book in it...

**And as you take that first step-**

His form and voice remained neutral as Dipper slowly took the scrape book, Mable's heart filled with hope...

**-Upon a path that's all your own.**

Dipper briefly flipped through it, lovingly caressed it...even hugged it...

A now relieved Mable began to walk toward him, arms outstretched-

Slenderman (somehow) smirked...

**You see it all so clearly-**

Mable's hear shattered as Dipper threw her book into the fire and shook the flaming hand!

**The best way for us all to survive is to leave her alone!**

"DIPPER!" Screamed Mable, the cure on her vocals lifted as she ran to him-

But he and the others were gone already, and she was now in a cage...

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Shouted Slenderman as he slammed himself into the cage and shook it.

**And see the world from where I stand!**

To Mable's horror, all her illusions of her 'kingdom' were stripped away.

No longer did she so her dream life...just Bill's twisted nightmare...

**HIM among the mighty!**

And now Mable was trapped here...alone...

**And You caged at my command!**

...forever...

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

Suddenly more Bubbles appeared...

Showing Dipper and the rest watching Mableland detach itself from the ground and float away...never to be seen again...

Dipper using the Destabalizer to kill bill and save everyone...

Dipper living a new life in Gravity Falls...

** Behold the fading light!**

...it takes time...

...But eventually he's happier then she's ever seen...

...and she is forgotten...

**It's time to grow up...**

He bops her nose playfully...

**...and get wise**

He leaves her caged and surrounded by nightmares...

**Come now little one**

Physically unhurt and in a safe place like he promised Dipper...

**OPEN UP YOUR EYES!**

As long as she stayed in the cage...There was a note inside saying just that and everything...

And like that...he was gone too...

Mable sobbed...

She pulls waddles out of the folds of her sweater, "At least I still have you Waddles..."

Slenderman popped back, **"Oh, thanks for reminding me! I knew I forgot something!" **He shouted as he spirited Waddles into his hands.

**"I Know what I'M having for dinner tonight!" **He laughed as he vanished again...

Mable curled up into sweatertown and sobbed...

**May all our stories end so well! Until next time!**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: The song is a remix of 'Open up your eye's' From the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Movie.**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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